MIDWIFE CRISIS

No more Crisis

2010-04-09T22:47:00.002+02:00

No longer a midwife in crisis.Have moved.Please send chocolate.(Lindt, preferably)

Motherhood. Rhymes with Crazy.

2009-08-04T17:55:00.004+02:00

"They" say that insanity is hereditary - that you get it from your kids, and I think I may have to agree with "them".If it were just me making my little space in my own immediate environment; if it were just me pondering the complexities of life; if it were just my own gases I'd breathe in from time to (far spread) time, I reckon I would be far healthier - on a mental level.I believe that

The Ten (or thereabouts) Commandments...

2009-07-28T20:32:00.003+02:00

... according to my offspring.1. Always never steal.2. Don't murder anybody.3. Don't worship Ben 10. Or Barbie4. Only worship God.5. Husbands and wives must never break apart.6. (E) Always feed your children.7. You can't worship two gods at the same time.8. Always keep your Saturday as a resting day - you must NEVER work on a Saturday - save it to do church. (E) It's called the weekings. Is

Should I be worried?

2009-07-15T08:04:00.002+02:00

She was staring absentmindedly out of the car window as we drove the wet roads to Hout Bay. Raindrops left perforated trails against her window and she watched them for a while, tracing her finger along their interrupted pathways."Mom," she said at last, " have you and Dad ever robbed a bank?"Choke. What? Stall."Er, no, Honey. Robbing banks is bad. We would never do something like that."Silence."

And so the Celestial Bodies Spoke

2009-06-30T22:17:00.002+02:00

I asked the sun dancer and the moon child how the story ended. What should the guardian angel do to help the little moonbeam princess regain her silver light? How would she get the moonshine back in the sky amongst the stars?Their answer came without hesitation: The guardian angel must pick the moonshine child up. She must fly with all her might - even though her wings are sore and broken. She

The sun and the moon

2009-06-25T23:39:00.005+02:00

I wish I could say something like: You know that old saying? The one about how kids are a barometer for your state of mind? Yeah! That's the one! Well, unfortunately, wherever I look, I can find no history for a statement like that. I really tried, but to no avail.So I guess I'll just have to put on my big girl boots and say it myself (she says putting her neck out on a limb): My kids are a

I love the whole world

2009-06-07T22:38:00.003+02:00

Don't know how I quite missed it, but I did. The Discovery Channel's Boom-de-ya-dah Song. Yip. It's new for me. And when I heard it for the first time, it was a complete feel good moment all wrapped up with great video footage and catchy chorus. From the first time I heard it to this present moment THAT song has been well and truly lodged in my cerebrum.In the last few days I have listened to it

The Whale Tale

2009-06-01T13:40:00.005+02:00

In the early hours of Saturday morning, a pod of false killer whales (at first misidentified as pilot whales) beached themselves on Kommetjie beach. There were about 55 of them in total. This kind of mass beaching doesn't happen very often - about once in 10 or 20 years, so we took a drive out there to witness the spectacle.Quite something to behold - the whales were not all the humungous animals

The chill factor

2009-05-28T15:09:00.002+02:00

A mom in the crowd of the "patient waiters" who gather outside the school gates at 12:30 every day asked me if I still hate winter. She caught me a bit off-guard. "Huh? Sorry?""Last year you said you hated winter and that you couldn't get up in the mornings," she reminded me.Wow, I thought, good memory for a lady who's just had a baby."Hmmm, I did say that, didn't I?" It's true. I hate winter

Girl Talk

2009-05-25T16:44:00.003+02:00

Dear Wives, Mothers, Sisters, Females of the SpeciesI write to you under the influence of fresh dog turd marched through my house on the shoes of my four year-old, and, as such, I cannot take full responsibility for what I may say now, as the fumes of canine excrement seem to hamper my normal functioning.Sisters, ladies, sufferers of menstrual cramps and gynaecological examinations. My fellow

A Mother is Permitted to Complain. Once in a while.

2009-05-18T20:06:00.004+02:00

Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Or maybe it's them. I dunno.The majority of conversation directed at my children these days is, "Tidy up this mess!"Seriously, at least 80% of what I say to my children is about the state of their rooms, the toys littering the lounge floor, the crayons strewn across the passage.Now, you tell me. Am I expecting too much from these kids? Am I hampering their fun?

The lighter side of Terrorism

2009-05-18T18:06:00.002+02:00

I received this super email today. Made me laugh so much, I just had to share it. Enjoy.********************************The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross"

A number One

2009-05-11T20:30:00.003+02:00

I have no idea what compelled her to say it, what little nugget of festering after-thought lead to the growth of the concept, but for some reason, my demure lady-like little 6 year old has claimed ownership of the term: pee-tank. As in, on route to ballet, "Ooops! I better go to the pee-tank before my class starts!"I tried to determine the origin of the word, but to no avail. "I just thought it

I think she misheard him

2009-05-05T15:53:00.003+02:00

Him: What would you like to drink?Me: Hmmm, do we have Savannahs?Him: Sure. Would you like one?AirBear (very, very eager): Oooooh! Me too please!A moment of shocked silence passes where I scrutinize my four year old.Me: You want a Savannah?AirBear: Yes, I love them! I really, really love them!Me: Savannahs? You don't even know what a Savannah is.AirBear (indignant): Oh yes, I do. It's a sausage.

Princess Pepper

2009-05-05T15:45:00.002+02:00

This is our dog.She eats scuba divers for breakfast.

Prostitutes and Purple Pipes

2009-04-21T15:06:00.004+02:00

I've been a very bad blogger, I know, but to make up for it, I have two new, never before seen, brand-spanking new, entirely nascent AirBear sayings to make up for it.*********************Yesterday we were driving home from ballet, and the news was on. One of the headlines was about sex-workers winning a court appeal against policemen for arresting them for who they are and not for what they do.

Email tracking

2009-04-17T13:31:00.002+02:00

I've always hated those emails that you have to send on for good luck and to tell God that you love him. I've always thought that's rubbish. Well, seems my fears were confirmed, and, instead of sending this email on to all my contacts, I'm putting it up here.Decide for yourself:E-MAIL TRACKING Here is something everyone should read and take the advice. If you don't, you’re hurting yourself and

The way things are now

2009-04-08T20:42:00.003+02:00

They say that you should be careful about the things you wish for.I was wishing for something to happen. Something to change things. Something great.Well.Something did happen. Something to change things. Something great. But not in a good sort of great way, more like a big sort of great way.The 4 month old dalmation puppy, Princess Pepper, who has been in unfavourable repute with the mother of

Just had to Share this!

2009-04-03T16:06:00.002+02:00

Me: This is a great pic, T! Is it you?T: Uhuh.Me: Why is your mouth open?T: I totally freaked out.Me: Why?T: Because I looked in the mirror and saw how beautiful I was.T-Bird: 6 years and 3 months

Self Preservation

2009-04-02T20:52:00.003+02:00

The library book story started with: Mog was tired. So tired she wanted to sleep forever. And so she did. (slightly edited)Sigh. What sweet release sleep is. An escape. An elixir.Every day passes, and I place a fragile lid of sleep on each one. Like a delicate full stop. And I know that I can tick one more off until forever.The feelings have slowed down. I've slowed down. I'm not thinking as much

Waiting

2009-03-31T22:40:00.003+02:00

It's like Christmas when you're a kid - or the run up to it, at least. The waiting, the anticipating, the little bit of nervous tummy acrobatics. It's like you can just taste the magic in the air, and you believe, from the very bottom of your soul that something amazing is going to happen. There is an awesome promise, just around the corner, waiting to embrace you in utter pleasure.And you wait.

Happy anniversary

2009-03-29T18:05:00.003+02:00

1 Amazing man.2 Gorgeous little girls.3 Cities inhabited.4 Places set at the dining table.5, because there's always room for one more.6 Pets.7 Cars to take us around.8 Relocations.9 Employed positions between the two of us.10 Years of marriage.

Earth Hour

2009-03-25T19:27:00.004+02:00

I'm going to do it - Are you?If you have no idea what earth day is about, please, please, please go here and become informed. Then, if you care about the planet and are trying to find ways of showing you care, be a part of Earth Hour on Saturday, 28 March 2009 at 8.30pm.All you have to do is switch off non-essential power (lights are suggested) for ONE hour. The idea is that by so doing, people

The Bad Guy Wants more Power and more Money

2009-03-23T16:51:00.003+02:00

My kids ask a lot of questions. About everything. Mostly, they want to know: Why?Sound familiar?Often, their "whys" are focussed on the bad guy in a story. Why did he do that? Trying to understand evil and conniving deceit is something my kids tend to battle with. It's a matter of trying to understand why everyone can't just be friends.The answer, that I tend to end up with, when asked why

Utterings of the Offspring

2009-03-22T23:01:00.003+02:00

AirBear: Daddy! Daddy! Granny says she's going to smack my bum!Daddy: Well, Air-Bear! What have you been doing?AirBear: Nothing.Daddy: You must have been doing something. Were you looking for trouble?AirBear: No, I never looked for trouble. But I did find it.AirBear: 4 years, 9 months

Go on, Stretch that Riddle Muscle

2009-03-19T16:27:00.004+02:00

I'm going away. Can you guess where?It's cold and desolate. A land of snow and stars.It sparkles and refracts.It's sort of salt-y.It's crystal clear.It's the gateway to the universe.It's a million pinpricks through black velvet.It has the freshest air in the world.

A little bit of Good Advice

2009-03-17T23:20:00.003+02:00

Today, while helping her dear old mother make toasted sarmies for lunch, T-Bird burnt her hand on the toaster. She was so brave! She didn't even cry! She just got a surprised look on her face and said "Ow!"We held the burn under a cool running tap for about 5 minutes - well, to be honest, it was more like only 2 minutes, because she gets bored quickly. But the thing that made all the difference

Jess of All Trades

2009-03-16T21:51:00.003+02:00

I've been feeling a bit anxious lately. Somewhat unsettled. Here I am at the ripe old age of 30, and what do I have to show for it? No, seriously what?Nothing hugely impressive to stand and point at and say "That! That there is my profession! My expertise incarnate!"Hmmmmm. But a little bit of this and a little bit of that are what I have to show for my time. And something inside yearns for a

A better mom

2009-03-15T21:13:00.002+02:00

While I was running my well-baby clinic I learnt that there is one emotion that is shared by all mothers, even before their babies are born: GUILT. Every woman feels guilty about something or other with regards to her unborn child, her newborn infant or her hurricane toddler."What if I had a low episode during my pregnancy? Will my baby think I don't love it" - GUILT. "What if my baby has colic

Perfect

2009-03-14T23:47:00.005+02:00

Today is perfect. As perfect as it can be. There will be no attempts to change the past. To hold regrets about yesterday and what could have been is futile. Today is the only today I have. And it is perfect.I am perfect in this day. There is not another day like this one waiting for me in the cubby-hole of the future. Today is the only one I'm going to get, and I will be perfect in this day, for

A bit of philosical blabber

2009-03-12T17:58:00.004+02:00

A vague acceptance of life's funny workings seems to creep into one's daily existence as you get older. When you are young, and unthinkable things happen to you, or around you, you get worked up. You want to know why. Why did that person die? Why can that couple not conceive? Why did that sad old man live alone in that massive house? Why do some people live luxurious lives, and some people suffer

I have a secret

2009-03-09T14:30:00.005+02:00

I wonder what you would do, if you were me?Let me explain: I am an honest person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. What you see is what you get. Mostly. And I say "mostly" because there is this one thing...There is this one role I have to fill and I. Really. Don't. Want. To. Do. It. Furthermore, I have to do it with a smile on my face. No-one may know that I. Really. Don't. Want. To. Do. It. And I

Potato Alfredo

2009-03-06T21:10:00.004+02:00

It wasn't supposed to be. Potato, I mean. But no matter how hard I tried, every time I opened that larder cupboard, there was no fettucini, no tagliatelle, and no, not even a morsel of macaroni.Potato Alfredo is what you get from a woman who is holding onto her sanity with flimsy resolve. A woman who keeps track of the days of the week by checking her birth-control pills blister pack. What? You

Things I didn't expect to hear from my kids today:

2009-03-05T17:08:00.004+02:00

1. Mom, is my poop supposed to smell so bad?2. I know some kids that don't love their mothers, but I really love you.3. I think Helen Zille will make a great president. She owns Cape Town really well. Don't you think so?

The truth about Kids and Dogs

2009-03-03T16:08:00.004+02:00

These are the simple truths I have learned in the first five weeks of owning a puppy. And perhaps, whether you are a dog owner or a kid owner, you might be able to relate:1. Kids and dogs poop. A lot. And while you don't need to pick up kid-poo in the garden, you do still need to wipe.2. Kids don't pull the washing off the line and drag it through the mud. This is a lucky thing for them, because

I, the Mother.

2009-02-25T18:13:00.007+02:00

I addressed the teacher on an issue that arose in class. Without getting into it, it was an incident which upset my child. It was an incident I was not happy with.The teacher. Sigh. The teacher. She's young. She's free. She said I shouldn't worry.I. Shouldn't. Worry.Shouldn't worry?What kind of a mother would I be if I didn't worry? Something happened that made my daughter feel uncomfortable.

Headspace Real Estate

2009-02-23T16:22:00.004+02:00

For Sale: One highly cluttered apartment. Narrow views. Built in cupboards overflowing with useless information and copious amounts of guilt. Mostly crowded living areas. Current location somewhere near a toxic power plant which, on the one hand, provides fantastic amounts of power to function on a daily basis, and, on the other hand, fumigates the air with noxious gases (inhaling these fumes may

Just not that into me

2009-02-17T20:53:00.003+02:00

I got stood up. This weekend, actually. Yeah, it was a date, of sorts. You know the kind: I bring my kids, you bring yours. Somewhere between the yelling and the wild antics, we'll pretend to have a "grown-up" conversation, then we'll wipe up the mess, pay for damages, and go our separate ways.It was a once-postponed date, already. One that we had moved on by two weeks, five minutes before we

My apologies to Queen

2009-02-16T21:20:00.003+02:00

Many years ago, a friend told me about how she stalled her car on the highway when her 4 year old started singing, at the top of her voice, a new song she had learned at Sunday school: "Jehovah Jireh, my vagina!"And you'd think that that would be as bad as it could get, right? That nothing could be more startling while winding your way through after school traffic. Right? Wrong.Cut to today.

Through the eyes of a child

2009-02-12T10:06:00.005+02:00

When T-Bird has ballet, AirBear and I entertain ourselves for the half hour we have to wait by doing anything from playing complicated sick-baby-role-play games, to building puzzles, to taking Pepper for a walk around the school (if we've brought her with us).Yesterday Air and I had one of these half hours to kill. With the thought of possibly encouraging my child's arty side, I challenged my

After School Dilemma

2009-02-10T17:10:00.003+02:00

As far as extra-mural activities go, everyone warns of the danger of "over doing things". For instance: Your five year old does not need to do one (or more) extra-mural activity every day. Don't overload them, the teachers say. OK, I get that. As a mom, I'd be pulling my hair out if I had to dash from one activity to the next, ensuring correct uniform and equipment for whatever it was my sweet

The place where the colours aren't

2009-02-09T16:42:00.003+02:00

I went there again. That place where the colours are muted and the air is thick and heavy. It's really not a nice place to be. But I went.I know you don't like it when I go there. It makes you feel uncomfortable and maybe even a little embarrassed. There she goes again, you think, off to that awful place. Why does she let herself go there? I don't get it.The truth is, I don't get it either. And I

My children watch too many movies

2009-02-09T16:27:00.001+02:00

AirBear: Mom, I feel sorry for you. Really I do. It must be terrible being the last of your species.(adapted from Ice Age 2: The Meltdown)

Sometimes you just have to give in to OC

2009-02-05T11:09:00.003+02:00

I was overtaken by some bizarre compulsion to analyse my FaceBook contacts. Why? you ask. I don't know, I say. I have no freaking idea what came over me. I just knew I had to go through everybody and find some kind of mathematical explanation as to how my connections, well, connect.So I started. I drew up each profile and made a list of how many mutual friends I have with each contact. I know, I

Just to let you know...

2009-02-04T10:53:00.006+02:00

So, I decided, what with all the artsy craftsy fartsy stuff I tend to get muddled up in, I'm going to start a new blog specifically for all that.Midwife Crisis still remains, and hopes to entertain you for some time yet, but the t-shirts and name boards etc etc will be exposed on another site.If you're interested, and would like to know what's REALLY keeping me busy, follow the link on the side

And the Unlucky Speculum Award goes to...

2009-02-03T16:52:00.003+02:00

Ok, you remember this and this, right? Well, the story continues.The time had come to check up on those polycystic ovaries. I realised, with mild embarrassment, that I had not yet received my results from lasts year's every-girl's-favourite-annual-outing. So I rang up the Doctor 1's office."Hi, I wonder if I could hear about my pap results from December please?"Receptionist 1 chokes on her pen. "

The beast within

2009-02-02T11:02:00.004+02:00

The creature stirred again last week. It was jittery. Unhappy. Needing fresh air. Lacking attention, food, calming strokes, it raised its gargantuan head and peered through the walls of its enclosure.They are weak walls. Not made of brick or stone. They are walls of resolve, determination, decisions mortared together with hope and a little denial. These were the walls made to hold a creature such

Weekend News

2009-02-01T17:17:00.006+02:00

We had a birthday party yesterday for the kids. It was for a son of a friend. A good friend. She asked me to make his cake. Sure. Like I can say no. After all, I take my friendship - fees pretty seriously. The theme was Travel to Toyland, and the kids had a ball! They rode electronic kiddies rides and flew polystyrene jets and kicked balls and played dollies and had more sweets to eat than are

Seeing spots

2009-01-27T14:26:00.004+02:00

On the morning of the day we were to collect Princess Pepper (our sweet baby dalmatian who is keeping me so the hell up at night I am rapidly losing my grip on reality), we stopped by the local vetshop (where I have been in and out of a number of times before and never ever experienced the kind of reception that we got on that morning).The shop assistant asked how she could help. We said we

On Pets. Again.

2009-01-26T09:30:00.006+02:00

Well, I wish I could go back about a year and lead you into this the way it has been gradually approaching me, but I think I was in denial and tried not to really consider it too carefully, and because of that, Wham! we have a new puppy. Just like that. So meet the newest addition, Princess Pepper:Also, we very nearly had a new tortoise too, but he pooped all over the car and my hubby, so we

... and breathe out!

2009-01-23T14:23:00.003+02:00

Thank goodness the first week of term has come to an end! And, on the same grateful note, thank goodness it was a three-day week to ease us holiday-minded people back into the swing of things.By day 3 I'm pleased to report that AirBear seems to be settling nicely into her new class/ teacher/ school. We have had no more tears, and even some excited chatter about the day's events and the silly boys

Help! I'm raising a perfectionist!

2009-01-22T11:18:00.003+02:00

So AirBear started at "big" school yesterday. Joining her big sister, I thought things would be great (especially for me having only one venue to travel to).Well, understandably, the poor child had a serious case of butterflies leading up to the big day. Perhaps not noticeable to the untrained eye, as she tends to be very guarded with her emotions - always putting on a brave face - but I picked

School's back!

2009-01-21T10:23:00.002+02:00

I don't know about you, but I am just thrilled that the kids went back to school today - in fact, I feel like I've been given time off for good behaviour, or something. Phew!I've decided that 6 weeks is just way too long for an at-home vacation. And not only that, but I observed a truly strange event occurring over the children's holiday. I found, that the more uninterrupted time the kids spent

So I've been busy...

2009-01-20T23:08:00.006+02:00

I couldn't help myself - It all started as a whimsy, and now they're just happening!This is little Lily's initial (6" x6"). I have no idea what her room looks like, or what her nursery decor might be, so I took a chance with girly pink. "L" is for Lily as well as for Ladybug, and she (the ladybug) sparkles!This is the most recent creation (10" x 14") - a gift for the kindest, sweetest, most

You're gonna love me for this!

2009-01-15T16:52:00.003+02:00

Are you sick and tired of beach trips ending in sprinklings of sand all over your car's upholstery? Do you wish you could go to the beach without having to deal with the post-beach clean up? Do you regret not having a portable shower to rinse off the stubborn grains of sand that cling to little feet and fingers making it near impossible to put sandals and shirts back on without those grains

Why my kids might not graduate from medical school

2009-01-12T18:10:00.004+02:00

T-Bird: "I have fairies in my body. Lots of them. Mo-om! Don't look at me like that - you know what fairies are! They're those things that fly. Well, I have lots of them! And they're in my body. And there's a whole lot that help get rid of all the rubbish in my body with my poo."AirBear: "Well, God makes my body work."Silence.AirBear: "But sometimes it's a little mouse."

A bit of a gripe, actually.

2009-01-12T08:07:00.005+02:00

It really irritates me about how little people understand about the basic geography of the middle east. We didn't live there long, but long enough to know a bit about which way is up. After spending 2 years in Saudi Arabia, it really grates my carrot when people ask me about my time in Dubai. So, to save you from making an ass of yourself when engaging in light conversation with people about the

The way things are

2009-01-10T21:09:00.004+02:00

So it would seem that the bug I'm getting over, has found new lodgings in the Mother of Last Year (unfortunately the title of Mother of the Year is floating, and until proven otherwise, a temporary title will be used). The man was complaining of the all too familiar sore throat, blocked head and aching joints, when I stirred up a great concoction of vitamin C and anti-inflammatories to wash his

Out of Commission

2009-01-09T08:00:00.003+02:00

So, weirdly enough, it would seem I have developed a form of midsummer's flu. I have no idea how it happened, but I believe that subconsciously, my body decided that once the year actually gets going, and school's back, and the extra-murals start, there won't be time for me to get sick, so it's taking its sick leave now, before the chaos of the new year starts.So there I was, resting my fevered

Big-boned Ballet

2009-01-08T15:19:00.003+02:00

I recently attended a dance school recital whose students ranged in age from 3 to 30. There were about thirty different performances on the program and the show covered various aspects of dance, from ballet to hip-hop, tap and modern.Now, while it was entertaining and all, some disturbing thought kept nagging me. The thought was: Why are there so many fat ballerinas on stage? When I first became

How the times they are a-changing

2009-01-05T14:46:00.004+02:00

If I, as a 4 year old, back in the early 80's, had been caught singing anything other than "Edelweiss" and "Jesus Loves Me", my parents would have definitely raised a disapproving eyebrow or two and warned me not to repeat the refrain in public.If my grandparents had ever caught a whisper of "Blue Suede Shoes", or, heaven forbid, "Wake up Little Suzy", well, there would have been some serious

Toothbrush Tales

2009-01-04T19:52:00.002+02:00

While we stayed overseas, I would write regular updates back home to our friends and family informing them of all the new and fantastic things that were going on in our exotic lives. I happened to be going through these letters the other day, and found one that I think you might like. Here goes: It was the night before last week Saturday, and all through the sandpit, not a

Making the Most of my New Year Oomph

2009-01-03T22:01:00.003+02:00

Ok. So maybe I was a little cynical back then. Back there in 2008. I'm only human. I made a mistake. But, I'm older now. And wiser. And I had a weirdly satisfying revelation today which I intend on sharing with you.So there I was, getting high on Mr Muscle Multi-Purpose House Cleaner, scrubbing blisters onto my knuckles. My knees and elbows groaned under the strain of nitty gritty tile cleaning.

Not my child

2009-01-02T19:42:00.002+02:00

T-Bird (while regarding the wildlife in the TygerHills Nature Reserve): Mom, that tortoise is just like me.Me (trying not to laugh): And why is that?T-Bird (dead pan face): Because I also eat grass.

My New Year's Wish

2009-01-01T22:43:00.004+02:00

I've never been one for wishing that all your dreams come true and magic ponies in cashmere bubbles carry all your fears to the other side of the rainbow. Blergh! No. And because I'm not particularly taken by mystic bunnies that poop cotton candy, I'm not going to wish you the very best year you've ever had.No.In fact, I hope that your best year ever is still many years away and that the build up

Clever cost-cutting Techniques

2008-12-20T19:34:00.004+02:00

It's holiday time, right? So the Mother of the Year has taken some leave, and we get to do all sorts of fun touristy things (which is easy when you live in Cape Town).Yesterday we arrived at the V & A Waterfront, tried out the fun fair and went for a tour of the harbour. We ate fish & chips on the wharf and enjoyed soaking up a beautiful Cape Town day. On the way home, we stopped by at Century

Nothing

2008-12-18T18:47:00.004+02:00

There's nothing. Like standing on the edge of a precipice and looking down into a whirling navy depth. If I look down I am teased by the dark mystery of what fades away there, even though I know there is nothing.I am not shaken or jittered walking this fine line. I can do it. I am strong. I don't need a rope, a hand, a pill, a friend. I am strong. I can do it. And anyway, there is nothing there.I

Girl Talk

2008-12-11T09:07:00.003+02:00

It sort of sucks, being a girl. Sort of.Girls have got a lot of girl stuff to deal with. And big girls have got a lot of big girl stuff to deal with. And big girl stuff can be pretty off putting and uncomfortable at times.Like, for instance, the annual pap and pelvic. I mean really! The price we have to pay! I don't know one person who actually looks forward to their gynae visit. And it's not

Adding to the T-shirt portfolio

2008-12-09T22:59:00.002+02:00

The Heart WreathMonkey Hanging on my HeartCacophony of HeartsRainbow Splat

A little end of year ADHD

2008-12-09T22:26:00.003+02:00

So what do you call it again when you just can't quite focus? You know, when you're a little distractable. Geez, it's getting hotter at night, isn't it? Ok, so maybe it's a little bit more than slightly distracted.I think I'm having a case of Decemberitis. No jokes, folks. (Didn't mean for that to rhyme, but I will be grateful for all I get). Novemberitis came and went as of 9 days ago. Now it's

Sorry Story

2008-12-08T23:46:00.004+02:00

I was raised with a guilty conscience.A guilty conscience and a low self-esteem.I'm sorry about that, really.Do you have any idea just how debilitating a guilty conscience with a side order of self-loathing can be? No? Well, pretty debilitating is the correct answer.You see, the problem with this little accidental glitch in my ingredients is that I always end up apologising. I apologise because I

The Question Not To Ask

2008-12-02T16:36:00.003+02:00

"I'm pregnant," I giggle over the phone."What?" says my husband, knowing how impossible this statement just is. He thinks a little and says, "With whose baby?""The hairdresser's." I'm bent over double. I start to relate the following story.I'm not a fancy girl. I'm low maintenance. No frills. Plain Jane. I haven't had my hair cut in, like, forever. I needed a little spruce up before the holidays

Rule number 6

2008-12-01T20:04:00.002+02:00

Welcome guest blogger MOTY:I listened to world renowned speaker and conductor Ben Zander today who talks about Rule #6. He tells the story of 2 statesmen in a serious political discussion. The door bursts open and a minister from the host president's parliament bursts in shouting wildly about some crisis. The president raises his hand and says loudly, please sir, remember rule #6. The man

Warning the Chicken - a poorly paced poem

2008-12-01T10:52:00.002+02:00

My dear little chicken, don't stir the potIf you get too close, you'll just get too hotAnd when you get heated, well, you know what that meansIt means you get grumpy, and nasty, and meanSo dear little chicken, don't stir the pot.It sounds like you're angryYou get angry a lotYou think the world's against youBut really, it's not.You make mountains out of molehillsMud puddles from a spotDear little

And this is the way things are.

2008-11-29T09:57:00.003+02:00

You know, I love men. Really I do. Especially my man. Having a tall, dark, handsome person around is good for the ego. And it's convenient - you know, for when you need to put stuff away in hard to reach places. Having a man is good. Just like having electricity and running water is good. Life is so much more comfortable. Happy. Sorted.Except if the running water is a leaking washing machine, or

Me according to FaceBook

2008-11-27T20:19:00.003+02:00

So, I didn't give this exercise much thought before I started it, but the idea behind it was to trace back my status updates on Facebook for the year, and decide for myself, according to these little descriptions of brief moments in my life, what kind of a year it's been altogether. I've listed my status updates oldest first. Here goes:(JANUARY)Jessica awaits the arrival of a little princess with

Now I'm just showing off...

2008-11-27T09:23:00.004+02:00

These quilts have been half finished in the back of a cupboard in the (dreaded) study since April. They are now finished and in the possession of two picnic-loving little girls. It's such a relief to be able to tick these off the To-Do List.Phew!

Oh, and the other thing is...

2008-11-25T20:30:00.001+02:00

That there is a month to go to Christmas.Eek!

Hanging with the Girls

2008-11-25T20:06:00.002+02:00

We sit on the couch, my girls and me. We kiss and we cuddle and we giggle about silly things. We stroke each other's arms. We whisper, "I love you" into each other's necks. We watch cartoons, all tangled together in a tight complication of arms and legs. My AirBear puts her hand on my belly and grasps a fat roll between her thumb and her forefinger. She doesn't look up. I feel funny. "Air," I say

I am NOT a camper - sorry!

2008-11-23T23:06:00.003+02:00

We've been talking about going camping during the December holidays. I was actually even starting to get into the camping vibe with self-speech like: it'll be sooo good for the kids; it's healthy; it's stress-free; we'll just get away from it all.Part of the pre-planning planning stage of going camping, for us, was to erect the tent to see what bits and pieces we may be missing (another item on

Unfinished project number 2

2008-11-19T10:38:00.001+02:00

Anyone for blueberry muffins and tea?

Getting started on finishing off

2008-11-18T20:50:00.004+02:00

In the interest of sorting out all that unfinished business I just mentioned, I completed these two shirts that have been lying on my art table, er, I mean dining room table for the last 6 weeks or so. (Click on the pics if you want a better look. Or not. I'm just saying)Oh, I didn't get to those muffins. Think a day will make a difference?

Unfinished Business

2008-11-17T15:14:00.002+02:00

So I'm a really good thinker of new ideas. I've got plenty perfect plans just boiling away in the back waters of my brain. You want a new idea? I've got hundreds. And they're original too! Just don't ask me to implement them, ok?I've had so many fantastic ideas that bubbled over into novel action that fizzled out somewhere between conception and final product. Implementing is really not my strong

What I learnt today...

2008-11-13T15:17:00.003+02:00

Today I learned, the hard way, that spray painting in blistery-blustery winds is not recommended, and also does not mean the same thing as Use in a well-ventilated area like it says on the back of the can. Wish I'd thought a bit about it before I hopped on the ol' spray-painting band wagon. If you see me soon, No, I do not have some weird tropical disease.I'm just saying.Then the other thing I

On Pets. Real. And, er, not.

2008-11-12T16:18:00.004+02:00

It's not true that we only have pet rabbits. We have another, er, pet or two. You know, like the Adams Family have a Cousin It? Well, we have a pet Gloopy, and a pet SuperB.Some of you have met Gloopy, danced with her even. Some of you have received gifts of fresh apples and celery from Gloopy. There are even some who receive a daily visit from ol' Gloops. There may be, amongst you, one or two

Frenetic Genetics

2008-11-11T11:11:00.004+02:00

I just ate a slice of chocolate-peppermint cake off the same plate I had my anchovy toast off, and inevitably got the flavours mixed up. And while that was a pretty traumatic experience in itself, it got me to thinking about the differences between men and women.(Ok, so no, it didn't, but it was a good story, right?)Men and Women. The battle of the sexes. The toilet seat up or down? Beauty versus

The Pet Dilemma

2008-11-10T09:43:00.002+02:00

Ok. So let's review the bunnies, shall we?You haven't heard much about them for some time, and it' s really not because they died and I was quietly hoping that no-one would notice.No, the bunnies are alive and well.Rewind a couple of weeks.I started worrying that something was dreadfully wrong with the rabbits. They seemed aggressive. They would scratch and bite and even growl everytime I came

Key to Enlightenment

2008-11-07T08:49:00.001+02:00

Fire = DepressionWater = SexAir = Yesterday, today and tomorrowEarth = FaithJust so we're clear.

Tired

2008-11-06T23:38:00.003+02:00

I've said for a long time that "I'm TIRED". In capital letters. Big. Capital. Letters. After months, even years of introspection, medical testing and self examination, I think that today I stumbled on the cause.No low hemaglobin here. No vitamin deficiency. No exercise insufficiency. No lack of sleep (most nights, anyway). I even discovered that by weening myself off my Cipralex, I am

I said, She said

2008-11-05T10:00:00.003+02:00

(Alternative title: Because you're tired of the New Age mumbo)It became clear to me, a while back, that AirBear is lacking on some crucial four-year old information. In particular: names of baby animals. So I dedicated the half hour that she and I shared yesterday while T-Bird was at ballet, to rectify the matter.This was our conversation:Take 1:Me: Airy, what do you call a baby cat?A: A cub.Me:

Earth

2008-11-03T14:21:00.002+02:00

I was planted in tired soiled. A muddled heritage. Deep below the surface lay pot shards and decomposing roots. This ground sustained me, sure, but one day something changed. A tremor. A quake. And all of a sudden I was uprooted.No more nutrients to soak up. No more steady land to secure myself in. For a while I wilted. A drought overcame me. No water, no food, no certainty.Now I find myself in a

Air

2008-10-30T20:13:00.006+02:00

From the very first breath, I have inhaled an uncharted future. I have suckled on this air. It has sustained me.More than sufficient. One day blends into another. An endless sky of opportunity. It is so vast that I cannot possibly grasp it. I cannot capture the end of it. I cannot see where it will lead me. Rolling clouds obscure the route ahead. And yet, I walk on, treading tentatively on a path

Water

2008-10-29T11:02:00.009+02:00

I am tentative. And nervous. Even though I can swim, I hold back. I place one toe in the water. It feels cool. Refreshing. And still I hold back. I seem unable to dive right in, like you do. I might get wet. I might get cold. I might enjoy myself too much. You splash me with cooling beads of salty liquid. We laugh. We watch. We wade in a little deeper. I have goosebumps. I am wet. You pull me

Fire

2008-10-28T10:26:00.005+02:00

I walk through the fire. I step on the hot, demanding coals. I expect some relief, but it comes in short blasts of steaming air. It stings. It burns. My lungs are aching.A burning sensation rises through my body. It is a radiating pain spreading over my abdomen. It claws at me, sending long thin fingers of singeing pink malice up my sides, ripping at my chest. I keep moving, treading an unseen

Today is a premature tomorrow

2008-10-26T21:22:00.003+02:00

It's late on Sunday night. I'm really tired. No specific reason, really, just that it's Sunday night and tomorrow's Monday. And Monday means that it all starts again, this funny 7 day carousel that we ride over and over.I don't have a job that I have to obligingly arrive for at 7am, fresh and ready to trade a service for an income. I don't have pressing meetings to prepare for, business trips to

Vrot

2008-10-24T09:54:00.002+02:00

I feel vrot. Annie, my dear American friend who I have lovingly taught naughty Afrikaans phrases to, vrot means yuck. Blergh. Sicky. Snotty. Puffy eyed. Blocked eared. Concrete in the head. Rotten.Lekker vrot is not a good combination, unless you're referring to compost, which you really want to be lekker vrot.Vrot is a lot like kak, in a way. If I said, "I feel kak," it could infer the same

Couldn't help myself

2008-10-22T20:13:00.001+02:00

Good Days, Bad Days

2008-10-21T23:30:00.004+02:00

As I sit here trying to get my head around, well, my head, I hear my daughter snoring and rolling around in her bed. She is unsettled. She feels insecure. I know it's because that I was unsettled today. I was insecure.Sometimes the day starts with the wheels loose, and it doesn't take much to get them to fall off. It can be as minor as serving breakfast only to be whined at because she didn't

Breaking free

2008-10-20T14:43:00.003+02:00

I have gradually been reducing my Cipralex dose. Slowly. Skip a day. Skip two. Maybe it's a mind over matter thing, but somehow I feel I'm nearly ready to be normal without my anti-depressant.Truth is, I don't want to be dependant on any medication just to be 'normal'. I want to be normal because I am normal. I want me to be completely normal.A friend once told me that "Normal" is the setting on

Fresh Perspective

2008-10-19T20:53:00.002+02:00

The other day I got caught up in blog-hopping You know, where you go from one blog to the next, clicking on the links that other people find interesting. Well, I hadn't been hopping long, when I reached a really absorbing site. www.kyahsjourney.livejournal.com got me reading well into the night. Now before you go clicking through, let me warn you that it isn't for everyone. Not me even. And yet,